Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
this hospital has no fireball
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
