I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
