Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
