Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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