He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
