all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I fill condoms, not promises.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize