He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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