Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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