After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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