Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Randomize
