so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
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He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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