yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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