i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
