alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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