kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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