I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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