my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
