She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize