Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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