dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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