Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
