They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
