it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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