hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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