she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
