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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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