i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
