there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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