Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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