It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
