if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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