just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
