i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
