singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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