Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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