everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
