You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
