He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
