I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
you win again, gameday.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
