Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize