This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My bed smells like the plague
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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