We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
