The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
