just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Damn victory sex feels great
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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