The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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