Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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