I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
