ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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