i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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