operation harelip BJ is a go
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We have started to decorate penises.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
