I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
