i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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