All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize