new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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