his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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