remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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