sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
