About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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