Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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