you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
