when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
