when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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