I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
