Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
